It's been forever since I've written you a letter! I can't believe it, but I don't think I've written you one since you've turned 4. I apologize, but I must say that you (and your brother) really are keeping me that busy.
I hardly know where to begin. I think I've been afraid to admit that there is no longer a bit of you that's a toddler or baby. You are only little girl these days, and sometimes not so little. You keep asking me how long it'll take for you to become a grown-up! Thankfully you usually agree when I ask you to slow down.
Speaking of slowing down life, the circle of life was recently opened up to you by a friend who told you "when you get really, really old, you're gonna die!" When you told me this in the car, I tried to make light of it by smiling and replying, "they did?!" But instead of dropping the topic, you immediately and desperately shouted, "Mommy! When I get really, really old am I gonna die?!" I couldn't lie to you. I said, "well, Sweetie, yes. We all will die one day, it's just what happens." You cried for a bit and then stopped when we talked about the fact that it's probably a really long way away, but then you got upset again when you asked me if we'd die together and I said probably not, that I'd go first. I felt bad telling you that because I didn't want you to think I was leaving you all alone, but it turned out that what you were most worried about was how you'd get to heaven if I wasn't there to drive you when you died. As I was trying to figure out the logistics and explain to you that you'll just know how to get there when it happens, you suddenly gasped and shouted "I know!! The Wonder Pets will help me get there! They always help people who need to get somewhere!" I smiled and said, "yes, you're right. The Wonder Pets will help you get there." Conversation over.
But then, as if the topic needed more exploration, it was around that same time that Grammie's 18 year-old cat Magnolia started looking pretty bad. The day before Grammie had to take her to the vet to be put to sleep, you got to say good-bye to her and you told her that she was a really great kitty. You seemed to understand the circumstances and although you pointed out to Grammie a couple days later that she was "all alone now," you offered up one of the most compassionate gifts I've ever seen. You had just gotten a little orange, stuffed animal kitty who you named Magnolia Kitty Stephens. The night after you got her, you spent the night at Grammie's and brought her with you. When Grammie crawled into bed with you that night she noticed a lump under the covers, looked down and saw that you had tucked your Magnolia in right where Grammie's Magnolia used to sleep. When you left the next day you insisted that Grammie keep Magnolia Kitty Stephens for a while so she wouldn't be sad.
Why? Because you're sweet! And kind and smart and loving. You're also active. And enthusiastic, friendly, stubborn, curious, strong-willed, passionate and funny. Did I say active? You can hardly sit still, except when watching your favorite show or movie on TV, which happens to be The Smurfs at the moment. Hmmm. Maybe you'll love vintage like me?
You and your brother are quite the pair these days. Now that he can do so much more you two can really play together. Not to say that fighting doesn't happen pretty frequently also. But every time you open your mouth to show Miller something, he absolutely beams at you and hangs on to every word. He loves you. Your daddy and I see it all the time. It's obvious that you still get really jealous of him because you don't like to share our attention, but I think it's starting to get a little better. The other day you got to go to Terra Toys to spend a gift certificate you got from your Aunt Lauren for your birthday. When we took the basket to the counter I realized you had picked out more things for Miller than you did for yourself! I'll remind you of this generosity and love later on, I'm sure.
What else are you up to? You are about to get a brand new room once Daddy moves to his outside office and you're super excited. You are terrified of getting splinters and you love picking up roly polys. You are spending less time dressing up and more time on the swing and playing outside. You want to know how everything works and you'll tell me while I'm driving when I'm pushing the gas pedal and when I'm pushing the brake pedal. When we go shopping you want to buy everything. You seem to like ballet but told me today that you wanted to quit because you hate having to wear your hair in a ponytail. We'll see what happens with that.
I promise to write more often so we don't forget these special moments and days. You still tell me every day that you love me "to the moon and back" and I tell you "I love you to the moon and back a million, billion times." You are a real challenge sometimes but you are already growing into a person Daddy and I are so very proud of.
Love you so much! xoxoxo
With your new bedding for your new room:
Guess who tries to do everything you do...